Hearthsongs
by Black Hawk
Summary: A little collection of holiday-themed happenings for Teyla and Ronon.
1. The Dictator

_**Author's Note:**_ This story is the first in the "Have Yourself A Very Spanky Christmas" in which a Teyla/Ronon story is posted every day. Each day also has a word as a prompt to inspire the writer, and my prompt for December 14th was "angel."

**Hearthsongs**

**I. The Dictator**

Ronon brought the axe down on the piece of wood with so much force that the blade stuck into the splitting stump. His breath clouded before him as he yanked the head out of the wood and set another round on the stump to split. His beanie held his loose hair away from his face, but the left side of his head was growing cold from dampness. He'd had to wash peanut butter out of his hair a half hour ago after his six-year-old daughter, Lilo, had decided that the best way to clean peanut butter off her fingers was to whine and shake her hand as fast as she could. When the pungent clump had landed on his head, Ronon knew he was close to losing his temper and was sure to busy himself outside.

The axe cracked through another round and Ronon eyed the small pile of firewood he'd made, knowing he should stop. A light snow began to fall, dusting the pines that fringed the meadow in which he'd built their cabin with downy white. He could hear dishes clanging inside and felt a pang of guilt over leaving Teyla alone to deal with lunchtime, but he knew things would only get worse if he hadn't stepped outside to calm down. The day before had resulted in a headache and nausea from all of Lilo's arguing and yelling, and Ronon hoped that his daughter's bout of challenging her parents on everything would be over soon. It had been three days so far and he didn't think he could take another three. The mere thought of Lilo as a teenager made him decide to split a few more logs before stowing the firewood and braving the indoors.

"Well, that's not how you're supposed to do it," he heard Lilo profess from the kitchen as he stepped inside and took off his coat and boots.

"This is how we do it, Lilo, and if you don't like it, you don't have to decorate them at all," Teyla responded, her voice tight. It used to be that Ronon could gauge his wife's temper by her use of contractions, but after living with him for seven years, she used them as loosely as a native of the Milky Way.

"Fine," was Lilo's curt reply and Ronon stepped into the kitchen to find Lilo marching off with her nose in the air and flour on her red and green apron.

Teyla clenched her jaw and looked at her daughter's half decorated sugar cookies. "When you're in a better mood, you're welcome to finish decorating them, Lilo."

"What's going on?" Ronon asked as he washed his hands.

"Apparently our daughter knows everything there is to know about cut outs and doesn't believe that you put the sprinkles on the cookies before you bake them."

"Lilo," Ronon called without looking over his shoulder. "If you bake the cookies first, the sprinkles will just fall off."

He listened for a response as he dried his hands but didn't get any. Though he couldn't see the top of her head because of her height, or lack of height since she was short for her age, he knew Lilo was sitting on the couch with her arms folded. The oven buzzed and Teyla pulled out a batch of excessively decorated cookies. "Oh, Jack, these turned out so nice."

Their three-year-old abandoned his crayons and ran over on his bare feet. Teyla lowered the cookie sheet so that he could inspect his culinary masterpieces and he grinned then hopped up and down. "I wanna eat them all!"

"You can have some after dinner," Teyla said as she set the sheet aside to cool.

Jack nodded, hugging his round tummy as he gazed longingly at his sprinkle-covered tasties.

"Lilo," Ronon called again. "You wanna come finish your cookies?"

Lilo slid off the couch and marched into her room without even looking towards the kitchen.

"Fine, she doesn't get any."

"Ronon," Teyla warned.

"She doesn't want 'em."

"Can I have them, Dada?" Jack asked.

"No, Jack," Teyla answered. "Lilo will finish her cookies when she's in a better mood."

"So, like, never."

Teyla cast her husband another warning look but couldn't suppress her smirk. Ronon returned it before smooching her forehead and strolling into the living room to see what Jack had been drawing.

"Hey Jack, what've you been working on, buddy?"

Jack wandered over to the coffee table then knelt beside his drawing. "This is a piece of pizza," he said as he pointed out a yellow and red crayon triangle. "And these are grapes and this is a popsicle and that's a whole chocolate cake. A huge, huge one. This big." Jack held his arms out as far as he could reach.

Ronon looked from the colorful, abstract art to his son's jade green eyes. "You just had lunch."

"Mmm hmm."

"And you're still hungry?"

"Can I have a cookie, Dada?"

"You can _draw_ a cookie."

"Okay." Jack dejectedly settled down and grabbed a new piece of paper to set to work.

Where Lilo could oftentimes be independent and stubborn to a fault, like her mother, Jack was much more like his father. Ronon knew he was widely recognized as a warrior, but seeing Lilo for the first time changed all of that, and from the moment she opened her eyes onwards, Ronon was determined to quit the dangerous life he and Teyla had lived in Atlantis. They'd found a beautiful, wild place for a home on the mainland and settled. Ronon was content to live in peace and sit around and watch _Emeril Live_ and eat, which was what Jack liked to do best. In fact, Jack liked to do it a little too much. As he watched his son wield the bulky tips of the crayons to deftly color in sprinkles on his drawing of a cookie, Ronon started to worry that his son's relationship with food was an obsession.

"Are we going to decorate the tree this afternoon?" Teyla asked, brushing her bangs out of her eyes as she stepped into the living room.

"Sure. I'm ready when you guys are."

Jack was too absorbed in his art to respond. Teyla ventured down the hall towards Lilo's room. "Lilo?" she began outside her door. "If you want to come finish your cookies, we're going to decorate the tree afterwards."

"I'm not coming," was Lilo's muffled reply.

"It's going to be really fun," Ronon called then sighed as Lilo ignored him and tension made Teyla's shoulders stiffen. "Come on, Lilo." There was still no response.

Teyla abandoned her daughter's door and stepped back into the living room, resting her hands on her lower back. "I guess we'll have to wait."

"Teyla, if she doesn't want to decorate her cookies then we'll just do the tree."

"No, Ronon, we're not doing that."

"Why not? It's her choice."

"I know it's –"

"The only way she's going to learn consequences is by making choices and sticking to them like –"

"She's only –"

"She has to know she can't boss you around like that then still get what she wants. Then she has all the power and will only get worse."

"I know that, Ronon," Teyla sharply cut in. "But she is six and by tomorrow, she's not going to remember if she won this one argument or not, but what she will know is that everyone will have cookies and she won't because she didn't finish hers."

"Like I said, it's her choice. She has to learn."

"Not when it means she won't have any cookies."

"I'm just saying –"

"I know what you're saying, Ronon. You've made your point very clear and normally I would agree but right now, I think you're acting like you're six, as well, and I know she's driving us both crazy at the moment but sometimes being a parent means conceding a battle."

It wasn't until Teyla stalked off down the hall that Ronon realized just how quickly his heart was racing from his wife's heated words. When she re-emerged with Lilo a few minutes later, he sat down with Jack and watched him color some more while Teyla helped Lilo onto her stool and let the little girl divulge her reasoning for her point of view. "Sprout told me that if you bake the cookies first then you get to put frosting on them," Lilo said, referring to Carson and Cadman's child by the nickname Ronon had given long ago. "And I want to do that."

"Well, we don't have any frosting, Lilo, and it wouldn't be fair if you got frosting and your little brother didn't."

"Well, Jack doesn't have to know about it."

"He'll see you when you're eating them."

"I'll hide when I eat them."

"No, Lilo. You're not hiding and eating cookies." Teyla pushed some of the sprinkles towards Lilo.

"Why not? Daddy does."

Teyla looked over at Ronon, who had immediately dropped onto the floor behind the couch at the claim and was nowhere in sight. Teyla narrowed her eyes and looked back at Lilo with a fake smile. "Well, Daddy's obviously not a very good hider if you saw him. And Daddy shouldn't be doing that because then Daddy will get fat."

"Daddy already is fat."

There was so little truth to the statement that Teyla let it slide and set the rest of the sprinkles in front of her daughter. "You can use as many as you like."

Lilo raised her brows imperially before quietly setting to work on her cookies.

"What'cha doing, Daya?" Jack asked, getting down on all fours beside Ronon who was lying on his stomach behind the couch.

"Shh, Jack, Mommy will –"

"Get up, you walrus."

Ronon looked up to see Teyla standing over him with a wooden spoon in hand. "I don't want a beating."

A light laugh colored Teyla's words. "Go get the tree ready."

"Daya's a walwus," Jack giggled as Ronon climbed to his feet and hoisted the pine from the entranceway to the living room. While he hadn't grown up with the exact tradition of adorning a tree in his home, every winter solstice, Ronon's village had decorated a large evergreen that grew near the town center. The green life amidst the cold and darkness was adorned with lights and gifts for the birds, who Ronon's people believed to bear the voices of the dead. The tree served as a reminder of the renewal of life in the spring, the coming light of longer days, and the nearness of those who had passed away.

Ronon hadn't yet tried to explain the meaning of the tree to his children, but watching as Lilo climbed off the stool and hung her apron up while Teyla put the batch of cut outs in the oven, Ronon thought that now might be the time.

"Okay, is everyone ready to help decorate the tree?" Teyla asked, taking off her apron. Jack had his nose pressed his drawing of a cake, as if fantasizing about eating it, but scrambled to his feet at the announcement. Ronon set out the box of ornaments they'd collected over the years, including a clay lump that Sheppard had made in an enrichment class, claiming that it was the Puddle Jumper.

Ronon couldn't help but smile at his cubs as they began to quietly decorate the tree. Teyla snaked her arms around his back and hugged him from behind, kissing the back of his shoulder. He rested one of his hands over hers and leaned into her warmth. "Do you guys know why we decorate a tree every year?" Ronon asked, but Jack and Lilo ignored him.

"I want to know," Teyla said.

"It's because of something very special. Remember how Mommy and Daddy weren't born here?"

"Yeah," Lilo said, searching for a thick branch on which to hang Sheppard's heavy lump.

"Well, the planet where Daddy came from had a very bad thing happen a long time ago, and lots and lots of people died. By decorating the tree with birdies and things, we remember the people who died so that it's not so sad, and they're –"

"Jack, that doesn't go there," Lilo interrupted as Jack dared to hang an ornament near his sister.

"Yeah it does."

"They can go anywhere you like," Teyla corrected.

Lilo's lips formed a tight line as she hung up the ornament in her hand.

"Anyway," Ronon said. "When we celebrate birds, it's the same as celebrating –"

Jack let out a wail as Lilo snatched the ornament he'd hung in a place she didn't approve of and placed it somewhere else.

"Lilo!" Ronon shouted.

Jack whined and batted at his sister's hands, trying to get the ornament from her but Lilo held it out of reach. "It doesn't go there!"

Jack began to cry. Ronon took the ornament from Lilo and handed it back to Jack.

"Daddy!"

"Lilo, look at your little brother, you've made him cry," Ronon said as he scooped Jack up. Lilo stuck her nose in the air and continued to hang more ornaments, and her indifference to her sibling's suffering made Ronon clench his jaw. He rubbed Jack's back as the toddler hugged his neck, whimpering into his shoulder. "It's okay, buddy. Here, look how high you can reach."

Jack reluctantly stopped crying and peered out at the tree from his new height. Ronon handed him the ornament and Jack sniffled as he hung it towards the top of the tree. Teyla had remained suspiciously silent throughout the little quarrel and Ronon suspected that it was now her turn to take a break before she snapped.

After twenty more minutes full of intermittent lectures from the dictator, the tree was finished. Ronon set Jack in his high chair, not because he needed it, but because it provided a comfortable, high vantage point from which he could watch the going ons in the kitchen as Ronon prepared dinner. Teyla slipped out for a run, despite the falling snow, and Ronon could see Lilo out of the corner of his eye, sneakily shifting the positions of ornaments she found displeasing.

Ronon held Jack on his hip as the spaghetti boiled and gave Jack the spoon, letting him help stir the noodles. The refuge of his peaceful toddler's company was a welcome balm to the irritation Lilo could cause. He kissed Jack's chubby cheek and couldn't resist snuggling him before setting him back in the high chair.

"Daddy, I'm bored," Lilo called from the living room.

"Why don't you draw a picture?"

"I don't want to."

"You could go play with your horses."

"That's boring."

"Do you wanna help me make dinner?"

"No."

"Then I don't know what to tell you, Lilo, other than you're making yourself bored."

"I hate you, Daddy. You don't let me do anything." Lilo marched into her room and shut the door.

Ronon stood, rooted to the spot, unable to look away from where she'd disappeared down the hall. A sense of dejection and failure tried to take over the voice that reasoned that his daughter was just angry over being cooped up from the snow and taking out her aggression on him, but he knew a part of him would always fear that she meant it.

"Oh no!"

Ronon turned back around to see Jack pointing to the sauce, which was boiling so hard that the popping bubbles were sending sauce all over the stove. Ronon hastily turned down the heat and was so lost in the numbness washing over him that he didn't remember finishing cooking the meal, or anything Jack may have said in the meantime.

Teyla returned from her run and asked where Lilo was. Ronon told her that she was in her room and for a moment wanted to share that what else Lilo had said, but he couldn't find his voice and Teyla had already headed off to shower. Ronon realized that he should have a talk with Lilo before bed and tell her that it wasn't okay to say such rude things, but the thought of giving her even more reason to hate him made him blanch.

Dinner resulted in Jack getting sauce all over his face, hands and shirt, but was otherwise a much calmer affair than lunch. Ronon bathed Jack in one bathroom while Lilo took a bath in the bathroom adjoined to he and Teyla's bedroom while Teyla read on the bed. Before long it was goodnight kisses and answering all of the random questions Jack would ask as he fell asleep.

When at last Ronon climbed into bed with Teyla, he felt as if he'd run a marathon. "I don't know how much longer I can handle this," he confessed.

Teyla lolled her head to the side to look at him. "Why do you think I have her baby pictures everywhere? To keep me from strangling her."

Ronon laughed but his laugh soon morphed into a groan as he curled up around his wife and she hugged his head with a smile, running her fingers through his hair.

"Maybe we should visit Atlantis soon. A change of scenery might help."

"She'll just corrupt Sprout and the pestilence will spread to Laura and Carson."

Teyla giggled then kissed the top of his head. "Goodnight, Ronon."

His only response was a grunt as he nestled his forehead against her neck, wishing they could remain in each other's soothing warmth for weeks.

~*~

"Dada?"

Ronon cracked open his eyes only to be met with darkness.

"Daddy?"

The voice was coming from behind him and he detangled himself from Teyla enough to roll over. Lilo was standing beside the bed, small and huddled in the moonlight, her eyes big with fear. "Lilo, what's wrong, sweetie?"

"I saw a monster and it chased me to our house and it tried to eat you and fell on the ground and didn't move." She shivered as she spoke.

"Oh baby, that was just a bad dream. Come here, sweetheart." He pulled the covers back and helped her crawl into bed beside him before snuggling her to his chest and combing his fingers through her hair. "It was just a nightmare, honey." He kissed her forehead and felt her small arms hug him. "Everything's okay, sweetie. Mommy and Daddy are right here. We'll protect you, okay?"

Lilo nodded and he rubbed her back, trying to warm her small frame, wondering how long she'd been waiting for him to wake. He could feel her heart beating against his chest and kissed her forehead again, wanting nothing more than to calm its racing. Trying to remember the day to see what had triggered her dream, Ronon recalled the frustration and anger. But holding her now, any fears that she didn't love him or need him melted away, and he felt his throat tighten.

When Lilo had first opened her eyes, so had he. He knew that more than Teyla's love and support, it was Lilo's birth that had truly healed him, endowing him with a newfound lust for life. In the quiet and security of their cabin, through the joys of brushing his little girl's hair, watching her sit up for the first time, making her belly laugh, and catching her as she learned how to walk, Ronon felt the chains that had formed from his life as a Runner and a soldier slip away, and he became more and more of the boy he once was before witnessing war: goofy, easy to please, and a little lazy. All welcome changes to the cold that used to haunt his every footstep, mocking him for the way of life that he'd lost.

"I love you, Daya," Lilo whispered, and Ronon felt tears welling in his eyes.

"I love you, too, sweetheart. So so so much." He gently squeezed her, feeling warmth restored to her body, and again kissed her forehead, adoring the mingled scent of sweat and shampoo that clung to her scalp. "Go to sleep now, okay?"

Lilo nodded, and though she was lying on his arm, making it go numb, though he knew she would kick him in the night, though he knew she would most likely go back to being a dictator again in the morning, he also knew that she was more than he could ever ask for, and that his little brown-eyed girl had saved him more than she would ever know.

_**Please review!**_


	2. Culinary Confessions

_**Author's Note:**_ My prompt word for today, December 16th, was "pie." Warning: Silliness ensues!

**II. Culinary Confessions**

A snowball whizzed through the air and shattered against the snow fort Ronon and Lilo had hastily built when the battle began. Or rather, the half-dirt, half-snow wall that Ronon had hastily shoved together while being pelted with snowballs by his wife and son while his daughter used him as a shield and laughed. "Hurry, make more, Daddy!"

Ronon smashed together another snowball and set it in the pile beside Lilo. "I'm going as fast as I can!"

Lilo squealed and giggled as Teyla threw a snowball that exploded on their wall, dousing her with cold pricks.  
"Are you hit?"

Lilo saw Teyla and Jack peek out from behind their fallen log. She took aim at Jack's beanie and hurled a snowball in retaliation. It landed just short of the log and as Jack sat up more, she saw that he was munching on the snowball he was supposed to be throwing. She grabbed another and chucked it at her mother. Teyla ducked and it exploded on her back, making her laugh.

"Lilo, where's your father?" She asked as she sat up, trying to peer around the snow wall for Ronon.

Ronon lay motionless, hardly daring to breathe. Lilo looked down at him, her cheeks rosy from the cold. The look in her eye warned him that she was seriously considering betrayal. "Lilo, no, don't," he hissed. Her mittened hand pointed directly at his butt. Ronon frowned. An instant later, his behind was struck by a ridiculously well-aimed snowball from Teyla. Lilo squealed in delight. "Jerk."

"Get Daddy!" Lilo shouted as she turned the snowballs Ronon had made against him.

He could hear Jack and Teyla roaring as they charged, and he scrambled to get up. As soon as he was on his knees, Lilo hit him in the face with a snowball. He had no time to retaliate with a tickle attack, however, for his enemies were nearly upon him. Springing to his feet, he fled into the trees, his back pelted by snowballs, making him yelp as he ran.

Jack and Lilo screamed in return as they pursued, followed by Teyla who knew her husband well enough to keep quiet and cut to the left. Hiding behind the trunk of a large pine, she waited, listening to the loud thumps in the snow coming closer. Ronon passed her in a blur and she leapt out at him, landing on his back and tackling him into the snow. Jack screamed at the sight and leapt on top of Ronon's legs while Lilo went for his arm.

"We have him!" Teyla shouted. "What should we do with him? Eat him for supper?"

Jack screamed again.

"Jack, she's just kidding," Lilo said.

Jack screamed again. Apparently it was a new hobby.

"Don't eat me," Ronon pleaded, struggling to keep his chin out of the snow. "I taste like bee butts and toenails."

"Eww," Lilo said as she plucked Ronon's beanie off his head and put it on on top of hers.

Jack was furrowing his brow. "Toenails?"

"Okay, so we won't eat him. What else should we do with him?"

"Make me your love slave."

Teyla reached down and pinched his cheek until it hurt. "Ow, ow ow!"

"What kind of kinky business is going on here?" came a voice from the woods. All four looked up to see Sheppard approaching. Jack screamed. Sheppard furrowed his brow. "Hi, Jack."

"John," Teyla said as she climbed off of Ronon. "I didn't realize you were stopping by today."

Ronon was peering around at what he could see from the ground as Lilo lounged on his back. "Where'd you park?"

"In the clearing about a half a mile back. I wanted to take a walk."

"What's that?" Lilo pointed at something wrapped in foil in Sheppard's hands.

"Oh, um, it's a pie."

Jack shrieked at the top of his lungs and continued the scream as he ran back to the house, up the steps, and disappeared inside. Ronon snorted.

"What's wrong with him?" Sheppard asked.

"He just likes things," Lilo said. Ronon started to get onto his knees and Lilo gripped his shoulders so that she was still on his back when he stood up.

"I guess I got bit by the bug and baked an extra... pie or two."

Teyla started to lead the group towards the house. "I didn't know you baked, Sheppard."

"Well, I don't really," he explained as Ronon fell into step behind him with Lilo on his back. "But Rodney convinced me to take this class with him –"

"Rodney bakes?" Ronon asked.

"No, but he eats. And we had to sign up for three enrichment classes each so I figured, why not learn how to do something from which I could reap the rewards."

Ronon smiled crookedly. "You are such a dork."

"Look who's talking. You've got a growth on your back that you don't even know about." Sheppard reached out and tickled Lilo, who giggled and squirmed as much as she could.

Once everyone was in the house and out of their snow clothes, Teyla searched for Jack, who was sitting on the couch watching the Food Network and eating out of a container of dried cereal. Teyla and Ronon had dedicated the lowest cupboard in the kitchen to the holding of ready-made snacks that their kids could help themselves to, and Jack never missed the opportunity to help himself.

Sheppard plopped onto the couch beside the toddler and peered at the TV. "What're you watching?"

"Candy show."

Sheppard recognized the program as _Unwrapped_, a program that explained how popular foods were created and sold. This particular episode seemed to be about holiday treats, and Sheppard smirked at how much he felt like he was back on Earth now that they'd found a way to beam entertainment from the Milky Way Galaxy to the Pegasus Galaxy. "Is it a good show?"

Jack nodded as he ate his Cheerios. Lilo strode over to her horse beside the TV and began brushing its hair. "I like this show. And _Dirty Jobs_."

"You guys are hipper than I am."

"You staying for dinner, Sheppard?" Ronon called from down the hall.

Sheppard craned his neck but couldn't see him. "I don't have to."

There was a brief silence before Teyla spoke, and when she did, she sounded distracted. "We would love to have you stay."

"I don't wanna know what you guys are doing," Sheppard muttered as he looked back to the TV. A taffy-like substance was being pulled then slapped together with other pieces to form a red and white log, which was then yanked by a machine until the red and white substance was thin and twisted. Sheppard furrowed his brow. The candy cane was then sent down a conveyor belt to some workers who hastily coiled it onto cones, forming what was allegedly a tree. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Who the heck would want that ugly thing in their house?"

Lilo and Jack just stared at him.

"I actually came up with the idea in a dream," the woman on the TV was saying. "And I was like, 'this is great!'"

"Lady, that's the kind of idea you think is great in the middle of the night, but then you wake up and realize it's dumb." He lolled his head to eye Jack. "You ever have those moments?"

Jack finished off his cheerios then looked back to the TV.

"Yeah," Sheppard sighed. "Me either."

Teyla and Ronon emerged from the hall, suspiciously quiet. Ronon plucked up Jack and stole his seat then set the toddler on his lap. Jack was so used to being hoisted around that his only response was to show Ronon that his Cheerio cup was empty. "Uh oh," Ronon said. "Teyla, we need a refill."

Teyla stepped over and took the cup from Jack. "Just a little more."

"Little?" Jack shouted.

"We'll have dinner soon," Teyla replied.

"He sure likes to eat," Sheppard observed.

"Of course he does. He's a growing boy." Ronon kissed Jack's cheek as Teyla handed him his cup.

"'Anks, Mumum."

"You're welcome, honey."

Trumpets suddenly blared from the screen and a studio audience applauded. Jack leaned forward on Ronon's lap and Lilo stopped brushing her horse's mane. Sheppard could feel the tension in the room building and glanced about nervously. "What's –"

A rotund, dark-haired man with small eyes suddenly burst onto the stage with the words "Emeril Live" and Jack, Lilo and Ronon all whooped and cheered, surprising Sheppard so much that he jerked against the couch.

Teyla laughed from the kitchen and as the Emeril music played, Jack couldn't contain himself. He set aside the rest of his Cheerios, slid off Ronon's lap, and started running laps around the coffee table. Sheppard lifted up his feet to avoid them being run over. Lilo hastily joined in her brother's romp and both were squealing along with the trumpets as they ran until the music suddenly stopped and the house went dark. Jack smacked into Lilo's back and Teyla hastily looked about.

"Just when they were really getting into it, too," Ronon lamented.

"Does this happen often?" Sheppard asked as he got up.

"On occasion, usually during storms," Teyla answered then looked out the window at the clear, darkening skies.

"Emwil!" Jack shouted.

"There's no more Emeril, Jack," Lilo explained. "The power's out."

"Emwril, Daddius!"

Ronon froze as he rose from the couch. "Daddius?"

"Fix it!"

"It's probably Rodney back in his lab," Sheppard said as he stepped into the kitchen to take a lit candle from Teyla. "He keeps playing with the power distribution, trying to get ready for this big dance we're having."

Teyla handed another candle to Ronon and he placed it on the fireplace mantle before kneeling to build a fire. "A dance?"

"Yeah, it's part of this whole 'build a stronger community' thing they've got going on there. You guys oughta come. I'll send you an invite."

"I'm sorry," Teyla said, "but why does Dr. Weir believe that Atlantis isn't already a strong community?"

"Because we left. They've all been sitting around and crying ever since," Ronon offered as he arranged some kindling.

Sheppard raised his brows. "Pretty much, yeah..."

Teyla smirked and lightly shoved Sheppard. "No, no, actually it's something companies sometimes do back on Earth. They organize group activities for their employees to help them bond. Some geek botanist probably complained that he had no friends so Weir decided to force us all to become friends. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm sure it was Rodney."

"Glad I'm not there," Ronon said.

"Yeah, you wouldn't last an hour in one of those enrichment classes, Ronon. You have to sit still and pay attention."

"I'm sure he would do fine. He greatly enjoyed the cooking class he took this summer."

Ronon slowly looked to Teyla with a shocked expression, and the startled way Teyla's smile slipped from her face told Sheppard that she'd just revealed something Ronon wanted kept secret.

Naturally, Sheppard seized the opportunity. "What cooking class, Ronon?"

Ronon hastily busied himself with stacking bigger pieces of wood onto the kindling. "Nothing."

"Why don't you want me to know? Was it a class where they taught you how to make aphrodisiacs or something?"

Ronon ignored Sheppard as the Colonel sauntered over.

"How to make chocolate sauce you can lick off your wife?"

Ronon slowly looked at him over his shoulder and Teyla covertly kicked Sheppard's calf to remind him that there were children present.

"Ow! What?"

"Daddy doesn't eat Mommy," Lilo said as she and Jack played with her miniature horses and the little wooden barn Ronon had built for them. "Mommy wants to eat Daddy."

"Oh, is that right?" Sheppard turned to Teyla with a smug expression, making her arch her eyebrow.

"Anyway." She cleared her throat. "When is this dance?"

"Uh, Friday, I think. It's a ball, though so you have to dress up all fancy. It's gonna suck."

"Mumum, I hungry," Jack despaired. Lilo noticed he was eyeing her toy horse with unhealthy interest and snatched it away from him lest he devour it in front of her.

"All right, Jack. We'll start dinner."

Ronon soon had a pleasant blaze started in the fireplace and Teyla sat down on the hearth beside Sheppard while Ronon set about making a meal out of the salmon he'd caught earlier that morning.

"So, seriously, Teyla," Sheppard began. "A cooking class?"

"Yes. He's very proud of himself so don't go making fun of him."

"Wouldn't dream of it. I'm just wondering how the heck you can even take a cooking class when you live way the heck out –"

"One was offered in the nearby settlement."

A few years ago, a colony of people from Atlantis decided to make a town on the mainland. The town was soon populated by Earth residents who mistook Atlantis for a hotel and booked stays there. Caldwell was so busy daydreaming about his microwavable dinners that he never seemed to notice that he was ferrying random Earthlings to populate another galaxy. Everything seemed to turn out rather well, for just over the mountain range was a small, thriving city that looked like any you'd find in America, complete with a section of suburbia named Wisteria Lane.

Ronon and Teyla had a poorly-maintained dirt road they could take to head into town when they needed supplies that weren't from Atlantis, and Caldwell had even beamed a truck that seats five to them the year before. Ronon and Teyla, for the most part, preferred to keep to themselves, but on occasion, the outside world crept into their little valley. There was a mailman who strongly resembled Peter Jackson in his fat days, and at any given time, he would speed down the dirt road and chuck out "mail" before fishtailing and speeding off. The "mail" was always blank envelopes and pages torn out of magazines, but Jack and Lilo never seemed to mind. Then there was that other time Sean Astin accidentally wound up on the Dex's property when he was out on a hike, and Ronon chased him off with a shot gun. But anyway, back to Teyla and Sheppard.

"They're getting pretty well set-up over there, aren't they? I just might have to move there myself one day."

"Ronon worships the man who offered that class – Harvey Dent. He gets star struck almost every time he sees him. It's a miracle he made it through his lessons without passing out into a boiling vat of sauce."

"Is Harvey hot?"

Teyla considered this. "If you like big chins and blond hair."

"Which you don't?"

"Have you _seen_ Ronon?"

"What if Ronon likes big chins and blond hair?"

"What?"

"What if it's more than professional admiration? What if Ronon's got a crush on the guy and you don't know it because you're too busy at home with the kids while he's always going off 'fishing' in the mountains with his buddy he met back when they used to herd sheep together. Except that herding sheep wasn't all they did."

"Sheppard," Teyla said. "You're insane."

"I'm just saying, it's possible you married a switch-hitter."

"Trust me, I would _know_, John."

"You'd like to think that but I've heard of guys who get married and have kids then suddenly come out of the closet."

"Ronon is not coming out of the closet."

"I was in the kitchen." Both looked up to see Ronon crossing over. "What closet?"

Sheppard smiled up at him. "D'you think I'm hot, Ronon?"

Ronon furrowed his brow. "Just move away from the fire if you're hot."

Sheppard sighed and got up. "Jeez, you aliens are no fun. I can't even keep up a joke without you ruining it..."

Sheppard headed off towards the bathroom and Ronon took his seat on the hearth. Teyla hugged his arm and rested her head against his shoulder. Ronon smirked. "Pretending we don't know Earth slang always takes the wind out of his sails."

Teyla chuckled. "He thinks I haven't seen _Brokeback Mountain_."

"Maybe he'll meet a nice lady at the dance and finally get over his crush on me."

Teyla linked her hand in his and laid her head on Ronon's lap. He combed his fingers through her hair as he watched their kids play with their toy horses. Jack eventually got bored and wandered into the kitchen to gaze up at the pie. He stood there for nearly a full minute, clutching his little hands in restraint, before dejectedly rejoining his sister whose horses were currently running off to murder one who had stolen all of the year's supply of hay.

The oven timer went off and Ronon got up to check on the fish. Soon everyone was seated around the table in the candlelight, feasting on salmon and rice. Sheppard couldn't get over how good the food tasted, and noticed that once Jack had finished eating his plate, he crawled into Ronon's lap and proceeded to eat off of Ronon's plate when the Satedan wasn't looking. Sheppard chuckled then offered to help clean up.

"Daddius?" Jack asked. "Can we have dessert now?"

"If you can eat it without popping."

"I can."

Teyla served the blueberry pie and Ronon couldn't hide his shocked expression as he took a bite and what tasted like sour yogurt, baking soda, and fried butter invaded his senses. Teyla was likewise struggling to maintain her composure as she put a forkful in her mouth. Sheppard looked between the two. "So, whaddya think? Do I live up to Harvey's standards?"

Just then, the lights in the house and on the tree lit up, and Ronon utilized the moment to pretend to cough out his pie in his surprise. While Sheppard looked at the beautiful tree, Teyla spit her pie out into her napkin. "Sheppard, I'm so surprised..."

"Yeah," Ronon chimed in. "I've never tasted a pie that was so... so..."

"Ick, this is disgusting! It tastes like a rat pooped and peed all over it!" Lilo proclaimed as she threw down her spoon and fled the table.

Ronon snorted and Teyla held a napkin to her face to hide her laugh. Jack, however, simply kept shoveling the mush into his mouth.

"Oh," Sheppard said as he leaned back in his chair. "Guess I'm lucky I have talents in other areas."

"Yes, John," Teyla said through giggles. "Very lucky."

Sheppard smirked then Ronon accidentally snorted again, making them all laugh.

_**Please review!**_


	3. The Dance

_**Author's Note:**_ My prompt word for December 18th was "gold." Also, I've bumped the rating of this story up to T for Teen. While most chapters are PG fluff, this one gets a little steamy.

**III. The Dance**

Teyla and Ronon headed down the hallway, hand in hand and silent after having said goodbye to Jack and Lilo moments before. The two kids were all set up to spend the night with Carson and Sprout in his and Cadman's quarters in Atlantis. But Jack had been loathe to let go of Teyla as she struggled out the door, and Ronon could tell by the way she was holding herself that she was feeling more than a little guilty at abandoning her children for a night of frivolity.

He let go of her hand to rest it on the back of her shoulder blades, drawing her attention and smiling when she looked to him. She returned the smile and seemed to relax a little, bumping her hip against his. The cafeteria doors loomed before them, muffled conversations, laughter and music escaping into the hall. The two shared a brief look then waved a hand in front of the door sensors and stepping into the makeshift ballroom.

The tables had all been pushed to the walls, and in one section, were laden with treats and drinks. Several chairs had been placed along the fringe of the dance floor and most people were sitting and snacking and chatting, while a few brave or drunk souls tried to dance to the pathetic rhythm of a popular song.

Ronon furrowed his brow, scanning the groups of people for Sheppard, while Teyla noticed that most of the other ladies were wearing green or red to fit the holiday theme, while she was in a clingy, knee-length yellow dress. Her hair was pulled up off her neck in elegant coifs and curling wisps framed her face. For a moment she felt like her teenaged, self-conscious self since she was in the wrong color, but Ronon kissed her cheek and she felt a smile growing as her anxiety slipped away. She knew he thought she was beautiful, and that was all that mattered.

"There you are!"

Both turned to see Vala grinning at them both, looking elegant yet flirty in a red satin gown. At least, she began by grinning at them both, but her eyes lingered on Ronon. "I didn't know you were back in Atlantis," Teyla said, drawing Vala's attention back to her.

"Oh, yes, well they found a somewhat permanent position for me here, it seems, what with you guys not really being a part of Colonel Sheppard's team anymore."

"You mean _you're_ on his team now?"

"Mmm," Vala grunted as she took a sip of her red wine. "No, well, yes. Sort of. I'm more like... auditioning. You know, it's a very long process and we have to make sure we can all work together without accidentally shooting each other."

Both Vala and Ronon pointedly looked to Teyla, who had "accidentally" shot Ronon years before while returning fire and running at the same time on mission. The bullet had barely damaged his arm but the subject was still a sore one for the two. Ronon claimed that Teyla shot him while Teyla maintained that that wasn't her, but rather it was someone else who looked exactly like her. Teyla cleared her throat. "Ronon, would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you. Go ahead, though."

Teyla smiled and excused herself and headed over to the punch bowl where she was intercepted by Laura Cadman. The blonde had a small wine stain on her emerald green dress, but other than that, looked like a 1940's starlet with her crimson lipstick and curled locks. "Teyla, oh my gawd, you look so freaking adorable. C'mere." Cadman shuffled her over to the other table and held up a bottle. "You won't believe me, but this wine tastes like strawberries."

Teyla furrowed her brow. "I wasn't intending to drink any alcoho –"

"Believe me," Cadman said then noticed that her wineglass was still a quarter full. She downed the rest and poured herself a new glass, along with one for Teyla. Teyla sniffed her glass then stepped back as it nearly sloshed onto her as Cadman clinked hers against it. "Cheers!"

"Is this what you do when Carson's at home?"

"I'm serious, Teyla. Strawberries. Straw-berr-ies."

Teyla sighed and took a sip, then another sip, then another. There really was a sweet tang to the wine, almost fruity, but she'd have to take a few more sips to be sure. "It really does taste like strawberries."

"See?"

"This is good..."

Cadman guided her to two empty chairs and they took their seats, sipping their wine a little faster than most everyone else at the party. The music changed to revamped holiday hits and more people started dancing. Teyla caught sight of Sheppard smirking as he danced with a blonde. She noticed McKay in the corner, looking both pained and pleased at the same time as he sat beside Zalenka. Dr. Weir was standing on the sidelines, looking loud in her red dress, and scanning the dancers, most likely searching for Sheppard. It was then that Teyla, growing a little light headed from all the wine, noticed something odd. Cavanaugh was dancing with Lorne, both looking very enamored, but that wasn't what snared her attention. What caught her eye was her husband dancing with a redhead.

"Who is that?"

"Huh?" Cadman had just finished her glass and shoved it onto the table behind them.

"_That_. Dancing with Ronon."

"Sarah, the janitor?"

"Yes, that's her name. Sarah. She sent him a stuffed rabbit once, did you know that? A stuffed rabbit. Trying to make him like her."

"Like, a dead rabbit that's been stuffed, or a stuffed animal?"

"I don't know. One of those fake, creepy things with googly eyes."

"Humph," Cadman mused. "She'd've had more luck with the real one."

"Cadman!"

"Oh, come on, he's married to you, isn't he? There's no harm in a pity dance."

Teyla narrowed her eyes at what she could see of Ronon and Sarah. "Pity dance?"

"Yeah," Cadman continued as she found a cookie on the table behind her and started to eat it sprinkle by sprinkle. "When you feel bad for a troll who asks you to dance, so you dance with them to make them feel better."

"What if Ronon doesn't think she's a troll?"

"Well..." Cadman shrugged. "Then I can recommend a good divorce lawyer."

"Cadman!"

"I'm kidding!"

Teyla folded her arms over her chest. "I can't believe her. Look at her." Sarah threw her head back and laughed, making Ronon smile. Teyla leaned forward a little more. "He just smiled."

"Huh?"

"Did you see that? He just smiled. He likes her. That conniving little –"

"You need more wine." Cadman got up and poured Teyla another glass while the Athosian glared at Sarah. Once the glass was in her hand, she downed it. "Whoa, slow down, Teyla –"

"Who does she think she is, anyway?"

Cadman sat down beside her best friend. "Sarah? C'mon, Teyla. You know she's not the only one. There's a whole group of women who want to bang your husband. Vala, Bethany, that obese woman in the cafeteria..."

"Wendy?"

"Probably even Weir. You're just lucky I go for the chubby, pasty types."

Cadman's assurance didn't seem to help Teyla any for her eyes were now roving everyone at the party. Sure enough, she saw more than a few women and some men, glancing at her husband. Ronon did look nice in his slightly unbuttoned, white collared shirt and tight jeans, but she thought he was sexier when he was falling asleep against her on the couch or cooking while listening to opera.

"Just face it, Teyla. Ronon's hot. And right now, he's new blood."

"I'll kill them all."

"Yeah, right. Everyone knows you won't do anything."

Teyla slowly looked to Cadman. "What do you mean?"

"They think you're too busy being a happy mommy to notice that they're all fantasizing about grabbing that ass and –"

Teyla gasped. "Ronon would never let that happen!"

Cadman shrugged. "Doesn't change the fact that they all see you as a doormat."

Teyla narrowed her eyes and set down her empty wineglass as she rose. "I am not a doormat."

"They just walk all over you, girl."

Teyla looked at Cadman over her shoulder. "Not anymore. Ronon's mine."

"Damn straight." Cadman also set aside her empty glass and rose to her feet, swaying a bit. "And you know what? You're my best friend. If those bitches were scoping Carson, I'd –"

"I'm going in."

Teyla marched over to Ronon and Sarah with Cadman on her heels. Sheppard caught sight of the determined expressions on the two women's faces and cursed under his breath before trying to make his way over to intercept them, but he was too late.

Teyla tapped on Sarah's shoulder and the redhead let go of Ronon to face her. "Excuse me," Teyla said. "But I am not a doormat."

Sarah and Ronon looked equally confused. "I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. Carrot head." Teyla added as an afterthought.

"Teyla –" Ronon began but was cut off by Cadman.

"He's her property, you skank," the blonde slurred.

"Yeah, he's my property. And you're trespassing."

Sarah shook her head with a laugh. "Look, I don't know what's going on, but we were just dancing."

"And discussing the best ways to clean a toilet," Ronon added.

Teyla narrowed her eyes and leaned in so that her face was level with the janitor's. "If you trespass on my property one more time, I'll... I'll... start guarding it."

Vala laughed from behind the small group. "Trespassing? Like you've noticed before."

All three turned to look at her.

"Seriously, Teyla," Vala continued, and Ronon grew wary, for her breath smelled of wine just as much as Teyla and Cadman's. "There's practically a permanent trail blazed through your property because you don't notice all of the tourists."

"Tourists? My property does not have tourists. And guess what – I'm building a fence. A really big one, too. All around my property."

Ronon furrowed his brow. "What exactly are you saying, Teyla?"

Sarah looked up at him over her shoulder. "She's objectifying you."

"I am not!" Teyla's eyes were growing wild, her nostrils flaring, warning Ronon that there would soon be no stopping her. "And if you ever trespass again, I'll shoot you!"

Sarah's mouth gaped and Cadman looked smug. "Damn straight!"

Vala merely laughed. "You can't shoot people for trespassing. That's illegal."

Teyla whipped around to face her, pointing an accusatory finger. "I know what's legal and what isn't and trespassing on someone else's well-kept, beautiful yard is not legal."

"According to who?" Sarah asked, resting her hands on her hips.

"I don't believe this..." Ronon mumbled and slipped off without any of the women even noticing.

"Says me," Teyla growled. "I'm the queen around here and I make the rules."

"You're not the queen," Vala whined. "_I'm_ the queen!"

Teyla sucked in a rush of shocked breath. "You are not!"

Cadman was staring at their shoes. "I thought we lived in a democracy..."

"I'm the queen and you know it," Teyla announced. "And you would all do well to follow my wishes or else... or else... you'll never see my property again!"

Vala and Sarah gasped. "I was only joking!" Vala said.

"Well, it's too late. The damage is done." Teyla stuck her nose in the air, a trait she'd either learned from Lilo or Lilo had learned from her. "From now on, sightseeing privileges may be revoked."

"That's not fair!" Vala stamped her foot. "Without your property there's only that scraggly piece of Irish sod and that lumpy patch of receding grass."

Sheppard and McKay had just stepped over to try to diffuse the situation when they heard the descriptions of their respective "properties." Sheppard narrowed his eyes. "Well, if that's how you see us, then fine. We don't like you anyway."

"Yeah!" McKay chimed in as he and Sheppard stalked off.

Vala bit her lip then looked back to the other three women. "Well, it's true though."

"It kinda is," Teyla mused, growing oddly pensive as she watched the men retreat.

"Anyway," Sarah said. "I don't care what signs you post on your property. I can do whatever I like."

"I'm gonna hit you," Teyla warned.

Sarah put on a smug face and folded her arms over her chest as she began to sing. "'This land is your land, this land is my land, from California, to the New York Island, this land is your land, this land is my land. This land was made for you and ME.'"

Though she saw the fist coming, she didn't have the sense to duck, much less stop it, and within a heartbeat, Sarah was clutching the side of her face while Teyla smirked and got into position to hit her again.

"Teyla!" Vala shouted.

"I'm bleeding!" Sarah cried, though she wasn't.

"I'll make you bleed," Teyla snarled and lunged at the redhead. Sarah screamed as Teyla tackled her onto the dance floor and a crowd quickly formed, chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Weir attempted to shove through the throngs to break things up but was shoved back by Cavanaugh, who was filming the brawl for YouTube. Ronon's bulk, however, was able to make it through, and he pried his snarling wife off of Sarah in a mess of yanking hair and kicks.

"Teyla!"

As soon as Sarah saw Ronon, she began to fake cry and clutched her swelling cheek. "She attacked me! She attacked me!" To her annoyance, Ronon was too busy hauling his wife out of the crowd to even give her a second glance. Sarah's weeping immediately ceased and she smacked away Zalenka's hand when he offered to help her up.

"I'll kill her!" Teyla was shouting as Ronon hastily waved his hand in front of the door sensor and stepped into the hallway where he finally set her down. As soon as her feet were on the floor, Teyla took off towards the doors and Ronon had to catch her again.

"What's the matter with you?!"

She struggled against his arm. "I want her blood!"

"Teyla! Calm. Down."

As he held her against him, Teyla slowly stopped trying to shove past him and instead let her hands linger on the muscles in his arms.

"First you're talking about me like I'm a piece of dirt, then you're starting fights? Is this what happens when you drink too much?"

Teyla's gaze met Ronon's and he slowly released her when he saw the tension knotting in her eyes. He only had seconds before he realized the tension was giving way to something stronger. He parted his lips to say her name but never got the chance, for he was suddenly slammed against the wall with her lips and hips pressed against his. For a moment he was completely baffled by her mood swing and her passion, but managed to resist kissing her back long enough to speak. "Teyla, you're frickin' insane."

He tried to pull away from the wall but she slammed his shoulders back in place. "You make me insane." She lunged for his mouth once more and as he rested his hands on her hips to try to push her away, the warmth of her heating flesh bled into his skin, and he realized with a smirk that her roughness was turning him on.

"Teyla, we have to –"

"Yes, we do." She yanked at his belt buckle until it came undone and smiled when she heard the rest of his sentence melt into a whimper as she rubbed against his jeans. Both panted for a moment, hesitating as they realized that they couldn't remember the last time they'd gone to bed with the energy to make love. Glancing about to ensure they were alone, she growled as she yanked him by the belt loops into the nearest bathroom and locked the door.

Fifteen minutes later, both emerged to pass Cavanaugh who was waiting a ways down the hall. He furrowed his brow when he saw Teyla with Ronon. "Don't you know that's the men's..." He noticed their stiff gaits, ruddy complexions and tousled hair. "...Room?"

Teyla merely cleared her throat as they passed him without looking and returned to the cafeteria to find her purse. Cavanaugh looked after them in shock then, for the first time, wondered how high the bathroom sinks were.

Ronon spied Teyla's purse behind some coats and chairs and kneeled on one to reach it. He'd taken an effort to smooth out his hair and tuck his shirt back in but Teyla had intentionally kept her rumpled appearance. When she caught Vala and Sarah staring at her husband's behind, she gave them a pointed expression then slapped his butt. Ronon merely threw her a pervy smirk while Vala and Sarah reddened over Teyla's disheveled state.

On the walk back to Ronon's old room, he realized that Teyla had certainly proven her point, and while a small part of him was still indignant over being viewed as a possession, the larger part of him didn't mind it so long as he was valued. He was surprised by his own hypocricy and kinkiness when he realized he didn't just like being conquered – he craved it. So much so that once they were alone in their quarters, he kept the lights off and kissed Teyla as he undressed her, murmuring "You know I'm yours."

Teyla groaned softly as his lips left blazing trails on her skin as he kissed her neck and chest, fanning her embers of desire. Much of the fuzziness of the wine had worn off, and she looked forward to being in full control of her senses while she slowly tortured him in the dark.

**_Please review!_**


	4. Santa Logic

_**Author's Note:**_ My prompt word for December 21st was "sleigh."

**IV. Santa Logic**

Cadman was stooped over her cup of coffee and rubbing her eyes when Teyla and Ronon stopped by the next morning to pick up their cubs. She watched them stroll in after Carson, and for a moment thought that she must be imagining dark circles under their eyes as a result of her pounding head, but when they came into better focus, she realized that the couple appeared to have hardly slept that night. Their linked hands answered all of her questions about their sleeping habits. She narrowed her eyes. "I hate you."

Ronon snorted at Cadman's disheveled appearance and Teyla merely wore a self-satisfied smirk.

"Ugh." Cadman rubbed her forehead. "I need a vacation."

"Aye, love," Carson agreed as he set a glass of water and some pain pills beside her. "Just remember that no matter how much wine tastes like strawberries, it in fact, isn't strawberries."

"Don't make fun of me..." Cadman whined as she took the pills.

"Daya! Mumum!" Jack squealed as he bounded around the corner and into Teyla's arms. She grinned as she snuggled the little chunker then peered about for her daughter.

"Lilo?"

"She's in Sprout's room," Carson said.

Ronon and Teyla meandered over to Sprout's doorway while Jack snuggled against his mother, reminding Teyla of his routine when he was younger. Every morning he would wake up, bleary-eyed and toasty, and would need to be quietly held by Teyla or Ronon for at least fifteen minutes while he sucked on his pacifier, before he could bring himself to face the day. Neither of his parents ever minded his clinginess, especially since Lilo had a fiercely independent streak and would only snuggle if she was sick or tired.

And she was exercising that independence now. Lilo stood on Sprout's bed, looking down at the blonde and pointing at various spots on the carpet. "He can only go there, there, and there. Everywhere else is hot lava and he'll die and if he dies, I get to keep him."

"But he's _mine_," Sprout contested, hugging a stuffed doggy.

"Well, that doesn't matter." Lilo rested her hands on her hips. "This is how the game works. He can only step on rocks or else he melts in the hot lava and I get to keep him."

Teyla looked at Ronon with an arched brow. "She gets her ruthless strategizing from you."

"It's a survival tactic."

"Lilo, time to go home," Teyla said. Jack was hugging her neck, resting his head against her shoulder. Ronon started to wonder if the toddler was falling asleep but when he snuck a glimpse of him behind Teyla, the toot's eyes were wide awake and peaceful. Ronon smiled and ruffled the boy's curls.

"Wait until the game's over, Mommy."

"How much longer are you going to play?"

"We're done," Sprout said.

"No, we're not. You have to make your doggy walk through the hot lava."

"I don't want to!" Sprout protested in the slight Scottish accent picked up from Carson.

"All right, Lilo," Ronon said as he stepped into the room. "C'mon. Get your stuff then I'll give you a piggy back ride. Sheppard's waiting to take us home."

Lilo raised her brows. "Well, I'm not going. Me and Sprout are still playing."

"You're just saying that because you're trying to steal Sprout's stuffed animal."

"No, I'm not. I'm having fun."

Teyla snickered then stepped away to gather Jack's things.

Ronon cleared his throat. "Lilo..."

Lilo kept her eyebrows raised and ignored him.

"Lilo, it's almost time for Santa to come – he won't give you any presents if you're naughty."

"I don't care."

"I do," Sprout said softly.

Ronon sighed through his nose as he hunted down Lilo's pajamas and backpack. "Okay." He turned his back to Lilo. "Hop on board. This ship's leaving."

To his surprise, Lilo gave up on her argument and hopped onto his back without another word. He met Teyla by the exit and thanked both Carson and Cadman before following his wife out and down the halls to the Jumper bay.

After ferrying the family home, Teyla invited Sheppard to stay for lunch. While he may have declined by claiming that he was too busy, he knew that the excuse was transparent since he hadn't been out on a mission in months and was, for the first time in five years, caught up on all his paperwork.

Ronon pulled some bacon out of the fridge and started making BLT sandwiches for everyone while Teyla showered and Jack and Lilo set about drawing portraits of Santa to leave for the big man himself. "Anything I can do to help, Ronon?" Sheppard asked as he leaned against the island on the edge of the kitchen.

"Nope, thanks. Got it all covered," Ronon replied as he flipped the bacon. "Hey, you should stop by when we open presents. I'm gonna be trying out my tiramisu recipe."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah."

"I don't know about that... I've never had tiramisu before."

"Neither have I. But Harvey says it's the best, and whatever Chef Harvey recommends is beyond reproach."

"I didn't even think you knew that word."

"What word?"

"Reproach."

Ronon gave him a blank look. "Stop reproaching me and make yourself comfortable."

Sheppard smirked and took a seat on the couch and watched Lilo and Jack draw. Lilo's portrait of Santa looked like the classic Coca Cola Santa, except that his boots looked more like those of a streetwalker. Jack's drawing of Santa was a mess of red scribbles vaguely shaped like limbs, a blue beard, and highly-detailed reindeer. "You guys are pretty good."

"Here." Lilo slid him a piece of blank paper. "You can draw one, too."

Sheppard smiled and sat down on his knees at the coffee table. He took his time pursuing the crayons then languidly selected a brick red one, knowing full well that Jack and Lilo's eyes were glued on him, fascinated by his artistic methods. He plucked a few more colors out of the box and set them beside his drawing then bit his lower lip as he studied the paper. Jack silently offered Sheppard his black crayon when the Colonel looked like he was clueless as to where to start. "Thanks, Jack."

"Welcome."

"I think you should draw a picture of Santa by the tree," Lilo said.

Sheppard nodded. "Good idea."

Lilo and Jack were quiet while they continued to draw, but after a few minutes, Lilo looked from her drawing to Sheppard's, then to a decoration of Santa on the wall. "How come Santa doesn't look like Daddy?"

Sheppard furrowed his brow. "I dunno. He kinda looks like him to me. Bearded, chubby..."

"Daddy doesn't have white hair."

"Well," Sheppard said with a sigh. "That's because you're daddy isn't old. Old people get white hair. Or at least, old people are slightly more comfortable letting other people know that they have white hair."

"Oh." Lilo went back to adding the last touches to her drawing for a moment, but something was twisting her face in concentration. "Do old people get white skin, too?"

"Huh?"

"Will Daddy get white skin when he gets old?"

Sheppard shifted in his seat, moving his lips for a few panicked heartbeats as he realized that he wasn't prepared to discuss race with a child, much less the child of two people from different planets who had never even heard of racism. "Um... no, Lilo. Your daddy's not gonna get white skin."

"Why not?"

"Because he wasn't born that way."

If Lilo could arch an eyebrow, she would. "Well, Daddy wasn't born with white hair, either."

"That's... true... but skin color is different."

Lilo sighed and returned her attention to her drawing. "That doesn't make any sense."

"No," Sheppard agreed. "Humans are weird like that. Not a lot about us makes sense. But you know, some people say that Santa comes in every shape and size and color."

Lilo flicked her eyes to him. "There's different Santas?"

"No, there's only one Santa. But I think people see him differently, you know?"

"No."

"Well, all I mean is, just because Santa looks like that in that picture," he said as he gestured to the decoration on the wall, "doesn't mean that he looks like that in real life."

"I think Santa's fake."

Sheppard was caught even more off-guard than he was moments ago, and the way Jack was watching his sister with wide eyes wasn't lending him much confidence. "Why would you think that, Lilo?"

"Because you're making up lies about him. And how could he go to all those places in one night?"

"Because he's magic. And I'm not lying about him. I really do think that Santa Claus is different to everybody. I mean, look at your family: you're not even from my galaxy and yet you're celebrating Santa." Lilo narrowed her eyes at him and he realized that his argument had gone way over her head. Biting his lip, he searched for a way to prove his point. "Look," he said in a low voice, leaning in towards the two, which made Jack and Lilo lean in, as well. "I haven't told many people this, not even your mom and dad... but one time, when I was about twelve-years-old... I heard Santa's sleigh."

Lilo furrowed her brows. "What'd it sound like?"

"Well, it was more of a scuffing sound, then a thump, like all the reindeer were landing, then Santa."

Jack had already become bored with the conversation and was now drawing pictures of gingerbread men covered in candy buttons, like the pox.

"I also heard a laugh," Sheppard added. "Coming from the family room. A deep, ho ho ho sort of laugh. But by the time I got out of bed to investigate, he was gone."

Lilo's eyebrows raised and Sheppard knew that she believed him. He nodded, feeling slightly guilty for fabricating proof, but at the same time, he really had heard something thump on the roof when he was twelve. But it sounded more like his family's cat than a sleigh.

"Maybe he didn't want you to see him," Lilo mused.

Sheppard nodded. "That's what I think, too. Because if everyone saw him, then he wouldn't be special."

Lilo didn't respond but set aside her drawing to begin a new one. Sheppard focused on coloring his own drawing, feeling a growing emptiness gnawing inside. Not only was he alone for the holidays, but he'd just lied to his best friends' children.

**_Please review!_**


	5. A Midnight Snack

_**Author's Note:**_ My prompt word for December 22nd was "cookies." This is the end!

_Happy holidays everyone! :)_

**V. A Midnight Snack**

Jack sighed in his sleep then woke up in the process of rolling over. He lay snuggled under his flannel sheets, hugging his big blue rabbit as he tried to fall back asleep. There was a bumping noise from the living room and Jack sat up. His parents had invited Colonel Sheppard to spend the night and it sounded like he was up getting a snack. Jack kicked off his covers and crawled to the edge of his big boy bed before lowering himself down. Sheppard always snuck him cookies and he'd been hungry ever since he'd gazed longingly at the plate of cookies and milk they'd left out for Santa earlier that evening.

His little bare feet padded across his room and he gently pushed open the door that was never completely shut. He hesitated for a moment. The hallway was dark and cold and his parents were asleep so he felt very alone. Dashing back into his room, he snared his Bun Bun from the bed and carried it out with him. Thus emboldened, he headed down the hall for the living room and kitchen.

There was a rustling as Jack rounded the corner. He peered around the corner into the kitchen but there was no one there. A crunch sounded from the living room, and Jack pivoted to spy a portly man dressed in red and white, dimly illuminated by the colorful lights on the tree, munching on a sugar cookie. The man had a long white beard and kind eyes that crinkled as he smiled when he noticed Jack. A low chuckled seemed to emanate from his very core as he rested his hands on his knees and hunched low enough to be level with the toddler. "Hello there, little one," he said in a voice that sounded like laughter.

Jack bit his lower lip and pressed against the wall, hiding until only one green eye was peeking out.

The man laughed again then had a sip of milk. "Thank you so very much for these delicious cookies, Jack. But I'm afraid I've eaten too many already tonight... I don't think I'll be able to eat the rest of these and it would be a shame to let them go to waste. I don't know what I'll do. If only there were someone to help me finish them off."

The man's eyes smiled as he studied Jack, and the gaze was so warm and inviting, as if the man were his grandpa, that Jack pulled away from the wall and tottered over to him.

"I knew you would help me," the man said with a chuckle, and shoved the plate of cookies over to Jack, who took one with a shy smile. "That a boy."

Jack offered some of his cookie to Bun Bun, but the rabbit seemed too shocked at seeing Santa to even take a crumb.

Santa moved to shuffle about the tree, inspecting its decorations and lights. "This surely is a fine tree." His leather boots creaked as he leaned back to see the full expanse. "And is that a bluebird on the very top?"

Jack nodded as he finished his cookie.

"How marvelous."

Jack set Bun Bun on the couch then climbed up next to his stuffed friend as they both watched Santa wander around the tree with his hands clasped behind his back.

"You have a lovely home. Are you happy here?"

Jack nodded and licked some sprinkles off his lips. Santa smiled and eased into the seat next to him, and the weight made Jack slide down the cushion until he could feel the elderly man's warmth through his pajamas.

"You know," Santa began. "There are two cookies left. What do you say I eat one, and you eat one?"

Jack nodded.

Santa chuckled and picked up the plate, resting it on his round belly. He handed a tree-shaped cookie to Jack and took the star-shaped cookie for himself. The two sat and munched in comfortable silence, watching the snow fall outside the window, shimmering in the moonlight. They shared what was left of the milk then sat quietly for several long minutes, each enjoying the sensations of their digesting treat. "I'm going to have to leave soon here, Jack. But you know that you can always find me, don't you?"

Jack shook his head.

"Why, don't be silly," Santa chuckled. "I am always here." He rested his hand above Jack's heart. "I am love, and love is I. You love your family very much, and they love you. I'll always be in that warmth, Jack."

Jack looked down at his heart.

"Can I have a hug before I leave?"

Jack hung his arms around as much of the portly frame as he could, and Santa chuckled as he rubbed the toddler's back. Jack held out Bun Bun and Santa kissed the stuffy on the nose.

~*~

Lilo flung open the door to Ronon and Teyla's bedroom and burst in, climbing onto their bed and jumping up and down. "Wake up! Wake up!"

Ronon coughed as his daughter's foot landed on his abdomen and Teyla sighed, wincing from Lilo's shouting. "We're awake, Lilo."

"Yay!" Lilo flopped down onto her knees and studied the two, who both appeared to be falling back asleep. "Daddy?" Ronon didn't open his eyes so Lilo swept the hair off his cheek. "Daddy!"

"What?"

"Get up, Daddy! I wanna go open presents!"

Ronon smirked. "I'm sorry, Lilo, I forgot to tell you. All the presents are for Sheppard this year."

Lilo frowned and pinched his bicep before scrambling off the bed while Ronon whined to Teyla that it hurt. Once the two were up, Lilo marched, leading the way into Jack's room. She opened the door and ran to leap onto his bed but froze in mid-stride when she saw that the bed was empty. "Jack?"

Ronon furrowed his brow at the peculiar sight. "Jack?"

Teyla held a hand over her heart when she heard the toilet flush. "He's in the bathroom."

Ronon's shoulders sagged in relief. "Oh, good..."

The bathroom door opened a few seconds later and a messy-haired Sheppard stepped out. He blinked when he saw all three staring at him. "What?"

Teyla and Ronon bolted into the family room. "Jack?"

Ronon hastily looked about the room while Teyla searched the kitchen. "He's not here," she said.

Ronon joined her by the island, seeing his own panic reflected in her eyes. "Where could he have gone?"

Lilo kneeled beside the presents under the tree and started searching for one with her name on it.

"I don't know," Teyla said. "If he went outside he could be frozen to death or fallen into the river..."

"Why would he go outside?"

"Uh, guys," Sheppard said, drawing their attention. They looked over to see that he was pointing at a bleary-eyed toddler peeking up over the back of the couch.

"Jack!" Ronon cried and had the little boy in his arms in a heartbeat. "I was so worried about you, Jack." He kissed his cheeks while Teyla hugged them both.

Lilo glanced at the scene from over her shoulder. "He was there the whole time."

Teyla looked to her daughter. "Then why didn't you tell us?"

Lilo didn't seem to want to dignify the question with an answer and went back to present hunting.

Ronon realized that he hadn't noticed the toddler earlier because he'd been curled up under a blanket on the couch. "Buddy, did you sleep out here?"

Jack nodded and Teyla smiled at the red and green sprinkles sticking to his cheeks. "I told you we shouldn't've left the cookies in his reach. Looks like he ate them all."

"No," Jack said.

Sheppard chuckled. "Wow, Jack, that's a new one... sneaking out to eat Santa's cookies."

"Sata ate two cookies and I ate two cookies," Jack explained.

Ronon leaned back enough to see his son's face. "Santa?"

Jack nodded.

"You ate cookies with Santa?"

"And Bun Bun."

"Oh my gosh..." Teyla cooed as she took Jack from Ronon and snuggled him.

Sheppard snickered and Ronon pouted. "I wanna eat cookies with Santa."

"Perhaps next year," Teyla said with a smile.

Ronon spied a letter tucked under the empty plate on the coffee table and picked it up. "'Thank you for the delicious cookies,'" he read. "'And for the beautiful drawings. I always enjoy visiting your home and look forward to coming by again next year. Oh, and Jack, thanks for the company. Ho ho ho.'"

Lilo grinned and snatched the letter from Ronon to look at it herself. Ronon and Teyla shared a smile while Sheppard narrowed his eyes and studied the letter over Lilo's shoulder. "That's some fancy red ink... and some fancy penmanship."

"He has had thousands of years to perfect it," Teyla said as she set Jack down. Jack grabbed Bun Bun and hurried over to the tree and sat down beside Lilo, who hugged him.

"Seriously, though," Sheppard muttered as he stepped closer to Teyla and Ronon so that the kids wouldn't hear. "Did you study calligraphy?"

Ronon furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

"To write that letter."

Ronon shrugged. "I didn't write it."

"Nor did I," Teyla said.

Sheppard looked between the two, waiting for a smile. "Then who did?"

"Um, Santa, duh," Ronon said as he reached out and ruffled Sheppard's hair then moved to sit down beside his cubs.

"I don't understand," Sheppard said. "Santa doesn't exist."

Teyla furrowed her brow. "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true. He's just a story."

"Hey Sheppard," Ronon called. "Looks like there's one here for you."

Sheppard stepped away from Teyla and took the package from Ronon. It was nicely wrapped in cheery paper and read: "To John, from the S. Man." Sheppard cast Teyla and Ronon a suspicious look then opened it. It was an adult-sized sleeper. "What the heck? How'd you know I always wanted one of –" He cut himself off and narrowed his eyes at the couple. "I never told you I wanted one of these. It's embarrassing."

Lilo sighed, as if exasperated by Sheppard's stupidity. "It's from SANTA, Sheppard."

"Yeah," Ronon chimed in, followed by Jack.

Sheppard looked back to the pajamas in his hands and ran his thumb over the soft fleece, feeling tears prick his eyes as the idea that years of conditioning to believe in only what he could see and feel began to fall away. He quietly stood by and watched the family open a few more gifts before joining in himself, smiling more freely than he had in years.

Ronon stuck a bow on his head and tossed some torn up wrapping paper at Teyla. She retaliated with a wad of her own that hit him right on the nose. Both Lilo and Jack belly-laughed at the expression on their father's shocked face as he was struck, and Teyla fell over she was laughing so hard.

The snow fell outside, and a cold wind blew, making the snowflakes dance, but the chill couldn't touch the warmth inside the cabin.

_**Please review!**_


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